Blogroll: Athol Kay

The Blog: Married Man Sex Life, ran by Athol Kay.

Why I Like It: It’s important to read from perspectives other than your own, and Athol Kay is one of the few bloggers in his field who has been married for a long time (19+ years!)  His writing reflects his experiences and lessons learned and therefore covers angles that his fellow bloggers’ writings don’t.

Athol Kay writes about maintaining a happy marriage in the face of a culture that distorts images of love, romance, and marriage, and actively encourages divorce.  In many ways he seems to be re-discovering traditional conventional wisdom as opposed to current conventional wisdom, and it seems to be working for him.  He is no Bible-Belt Traditional Conservative though, Athol is open about his atheism and his principals don’t rely on blind acceptance of any particular theology.

His writing is the antithesis of the all-too-common victimhood mentality.  His book centers on self improvement, raising one’s value in the marriage, and brutally confronting pretty lies that block honest communication.  While divorce rates may be high, it is not a hopeless situation and there are steps couples can take to strengthen their marriages.  It’s a lot more uplifting message than, say, Eat, Pray, Love.

Finally, Athol has the distinction of being one of those damn inflammatory writers that the Jezebel and Feministing crowds would love to lynch, yet he was also invited to work the a US Army family strengthening program!  I regret I haven’t followed up more on this project of his; I would certainly like to learn more.

Best Of: First, it goes without saying that his first book serves as a reference point.  It’s even called The Married Man Sex Life Primer.  Obviously his other book serves a similar purpose.  It is a collection of essays entitled, How to Answer, “Do these pants make my ass look fat,”…and Get Laid Like Tile. 

Second, the aforementioned self improvement which he refers to as the MAP; Male Action Plan.

Finally, he has an encyclopedic-type post which offers his take on a concept I have yet to get around to in my own writing, the Red Pill.  As I mentioned briefly above, current conventional wisdom has yielded a culture with significant social problems that no one seems to understand.  Athol Kay and compatriots offer their advice and explanation for the confounding state of affairs using the Matrix’s Blue Pill/Red Pill concept as a metaphor.  The Blue Pill represents the politically-correct, approved set of beliefs we are supposed to hold and the world that they create.  The Red Pill is the body of knowledge that can be gained simply through observing the world we actually live in.



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